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I Never Thought I'd Say This...

Today's post is one that I honestly never expected to write. If you've been reading this blog since I headed to college in the fall of 2016, you might know that I had a really difficult time adjusting to and enjoying my freshman year, and it ultimately led me to transfer this year to a completely different place: a huge public school in the midwest. If you know me well in person, you were probably just as shocked when I made this decision as I was! Even if you only know me from online, there is a good chance you felt surprised too, right?

So, last semester was fine. It was fine... but just fine. I constantly worried if I made the right decision in transferring (you can watch my transfer experience vlog here), and I would be lying if I didn't reconsider coming back this semester, or transferring again (#dramatic). But, I just sucked it up and remembered how everyone always says your first semester of college sucks. This was my first semester at this college, so I shouldn't be so quick to hate it like I did last year. Last semester was so different from my entire experience my freshman year, because my school now (University of Wisconsin!!) is so big, the whole vibe is completely different.

Then came this semester, and here's what I never thought I'd say:
I love college. 

I absolutely love college right now. You guys, I can't even stop talking about it. I love college right now so much I can hardly believe what's happening in my life. I am leaving for London today and didn't even really care about spring break because I would have been so content staying at school for the week. When I return from break I only have a month left and I am actually a little sad for the year to end!

So, why do I love college so much? I think the biggest part of this is actually attributed to something that I haven't touched on too much online (because this topic is personal and better left to minimal details, duh). But, for the purpose of this post, I will share that my ex-boyfriend and I broke up back in January. We dated for two and a half years (roughly), from senior year of high school through last semester. I think the hardest part about being in a long distance relationship in college is just feeling limited and constantly feeling like there is extra pressure to make certain decisions and to do (or not do) certain things to maintain the relationship. This was incredibly difficult, stressful, and ultimately not worth it. It really hindered my ability to enjoy myself in college, and I constantly felt like I was either slacking in the relationship or slacking in terms of ability to enjoy school.

This semester thus far, without the pressure of a relationship, I have honestly just been able to do what I want and enjoy myself more... not necessarily in crazy ways, but just like in terms of not having to worry about another person all the time (that probably sounds bad, but I'm sure you get what I'm trying to say?)

In addition to being out of a relationship, I love my friends at school. It's kind of funny because we were all friends early on in high school actually, but not so much in the later years or even in college last year. As much as I miss being in a sorority sometimes, I love that my friends are girls who I love and who I have so much fun with. My best friends last year at Lehigh were amazing too, but there's something about having friends you know from "home" that is very comforting, and I didn't have that at Lehigh. At school last year I often felt like an outsider because I wasn't from New York or New Jersey, and no one even knew where Wisconsin was. I loved my friends, but it was hard to feel super comfortable all of the time when I felt so different from everyone else.

One more reason I love school now: I am having so much fun. Don't get me wrong, I still take my academics seriously (in fact, I got the highest GPA I ever have last semester), especially because I am applying to the business school. But... last year I never, ever wanted to go out or go to parties. I was always so anxious and nervous and did not like the party scene. Of course, partying in college is not everything, but it's so hard to watch people around you having fun when you just can not get yourself to do that too. This year I have been much more excited about going out and I am having so much fun doing so. This may have been the most unexpected aspect for me, because last year I would literally have crippling panic attacks and I would have to make up excuses to tell my sorority sisters why I couldn't make it to parties. It might sound dumb, but it really sucked having FOMO all the time, and ultimately not being able to make those fun memories.

I'm sorry if this post was a little jumbled, but I just wanted to share an update on my college experience now that I am finally, truly, really happy with where I at. I am honestly so grateful to have had this transfer experience, and I feel very, very lucky to be where I am at now in college.

Thank you all for following along and reading, as always! If you have had a similar experience or want to share your experience in college too, I would love to hear!

PS - Here are all of my college-related blog posts if you want to read more!

1 comment

  1. THIS IS MAKING ME SO EXCITED FOR COLLEGE, FRAN! so happy for you love


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